Of Utopia and Anarchy, Intellects and Simpletons

24 05 2007

Cross posted from Common Sense America

All of their years of hard work at Ivy League colleges finally paid off. They have the solution. They have the plan. They, my friends, hold the key to all of the problems of modern society. These intellects that we elected to represent us are blessed, blessed I tell you, with the exceptional ability to take a difficult problem and fix it in a bipartisan manner that leaves many of us common folk scratching our heads.

Yes, our congressmen seem to be quite pleased with themselves these days. They are patting themselves on the back, congratulating one another, and saying that they are so pleased they are working in a bipartisan fashion as the American people requested they do.

But wait just one minute here. I don’t remember anyone – especially the American people – telling them to ‘get along’ by throwing our nation into the toilet.

Let’s look at their brilliant ’solution’. The best thing these boneheads could think of to fix the problem of ‘illegal immigration’ is to ‘legalize it’. What genius thought up this plan? How does this ‘fix’ anything?

But, I digress.

As I said earlier, herein lies the true intellectual ability of our elected officials. Now I know that you and I are nowhere close to the outstanding league of our members of the Senate, so try to keep up with me as I attempt to show you just how much more advanced this Congress is than those of us who are so silly to try to use reason, fairness, logic, and law to solve this problem.

Using the logic of our current Senators, we cannot only fix the illegal immigration problem here in the United States but we can ultimately solve the problems of the entire universe with their new legislative brilliance. And the beauty of this new legislation is that not only is it all encompassing, it is also quite pithy. The problems of the world can be summed up in one simple sentence.

“If it is illegal, legalize it.”

Now before you go into convulsions, stop and think about it for a minute. Just think of the utopian world we could be living in. I’m telling you, these guys are on to something big.

Think about it. Seriously.

Laws will no longer have to be enforced because everything will be LEGAL. No need for police, border patrol agents, or even SWAT teams. We will have no thieves, murderers, or rapists to deal with because, as Senator Kennedy stated about the illegal aliens, even if we make laws against these crimes, there will still be people who will break them. They will continue to steal, murder, and rape. “If it is illegal, legalize it.” There will be no more ‘war on drugs’ because drugs will be legal. “If it is illegal, legalize it.” So, in the super-duper-genius of our elected officials, let’s legalize these crimes and our prisons will be empty. Think of the savings to the American taxpayer! No prisoners to house.

Wait a minute!

Think about this – tax evasion. “If it is illegal, legalize it.”


And why stop at illegality? We could also rid the world of immorality by simply declaring there is no immorality. Anything goes in this regard. The murder of the unborn child to relieve the promiscuous person of any burden or responsibility should be celebrated and lawful. “If it is immoral, moralize it.” The rights of any and all deviations of sexual orientation should be celebrated, paraded, and protected. “If it is immoral, moralize it.”

Oh wait, been there, done that.

So, you see my friends. This amnesty bill is just a continuation of the amazing work our Congress is doing for this nation. I know some may balk but it is only because we are not capable of understanding those among us that are so incredibly gifted. They see a utopia of epic proportions and we simply see anarchy and immorality.

In the sense of fairness though, I should mention that the solution introduced by our backstabbing brilliant Congressmen is not new. Vicente Fox suggested during an interview with Jim Lehrer of PBS four days before the attack of September 11, 2001, “So if it is illegal what happens now; let’s recognize it. Let’s recognize that it’s illegal, and let’s legalize it.”

Another genius? A matter of opinion, I guess.

Others posting on the ‘genius’ of our Senate:

To Abolish the Income Tax, 12 Million is the Magic Number from the Peoples Patriot, Sen. Corker on S.1348 today from Bear Creek Ledger, Chertoff…Gutierrez…”SHERPAS OF THE SENATE!”…Lindsay Graham from StikNstein, Illegal aliens and gas from Right Truth, The Ingrates, The Patriot and The Panderer from the Peoples Patriot, Poultry Industry: Owned and Operated by Illegal Aliens from GA CrimeWatch, Amnesty for Revolutionaries from Time To Change The Nation, France Gets It and Iran Can Do What the U.S. Can’t from the Peoples Patriot, Immigration Reform, What Compromise? from the Peoples Patriot, GA Senator thinks you are stupid from GA CrimeWatch, S.1348 – details of Z Visa from Bear Creek Ledger

**This was a production of The Coalition Against Illegal Immigration (CAII). If you would like to participate, please go to the above link to learn more. Afterwards, email stiknstein-at-gmail-dot-com and let us know at what level you would like to participate.




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